Creating Stillness

One thing that ADHDers and HSPs have in common is having a lot of thoughts and ideas.

Another is being very aware of others' emotional and physical states. Another is not liking to make mistakes which can result in feeling very pressured to do everything right and keep everyone else happy. 

This is a lot of activity for one body (and brain) to contain. It can feel hectic. Or even frantic, depending on the demands, internal or external.

Which doesn't feel good. 

Finding ways to be still, even for a minute, helps reset the body and brain and it feels good. With practice it can be accompanied by a sense of peace. The brain loves it. Some people refer to it as feeling like they have 'come home.'

For busy brains (and hyperactive bodies) this can seem like an impossible undertaking. 

About ten years ago, I ran a meditation group with eight ADHDer university students, all in their late teens or early 20s. 

We sat on cushions on the floor in a circle for two hours, meditating and exploring our experiences within the meditations. For eight consecutive weeks. The participants were expected to practice meditation daily in between the weekly sessions. 

Not one student missed any of the sessions.

And in spite of their predictions, they all practiced (relatively) consistently.

Their understanding and knowledge of their own minds and bodies grew exponentially. They developed amazing compassion for themselves and an astonishing connection with each other.

It was one of the peak experiences of my professional life, that is without a doubt.

Now you might be thinking there is no way you could do this. Your brain or body is too busy. You've tried meditating but just weren't good at it. It was boring and your mind couldn't stop wandering.

That is a very common experience. And it is perfectly normal. That's what minds do, even neurotypical minds.

Research shows that meditation is not only possible for ADHDers it is very beneficial. It strengthens parts of the brain that are responsible for attention, delaying responses (i.e. impulsivity) and awareness. It also strengthens the connectivity between brain regions (this inter-connectivity of brain regions has been found to be impaired in many ADHD brains, and this has an impact on daily life).

The program that I ran with those eight students was designed by New York psychiatrist Dr Lidia Zylowska. In fact, the experience of our group members formed some of her initial data points.

Her research has demonstrated that regular meditation as brief as 5 minutes but not longer than 15 minutes per session has been associated with many benefits for ADHDers, including reducing anxiety. 

And I know what you're thinking. That's so hard. Maybe I'll do that one day but not right now. 

I understand. I have quite a long history of meditation practice, I've been on multiple silent meditation retreats, and my mind also baulks every time at the prospect of having to stop 'doing' and start 'dropping into the present moment.'

But I am always grateful after I have. Even if it's just a 20-second shift of my attention into the present-moment experience of washing my hands (that's my go-to mindful activity).

I feel steadier. Calmer. 

It doesn't last very long. But that's OK. I can always do it again. Or I can meditate for 12 minutes (there is research demonstrating that this is the minimum time if we want to create lasting change, over time). I no longer expect myself to meditate for 40 minutes.

 Getting still doesn't mean we have to have a still body, if that is a difficulty for you. 

We can meditate standing up and swaying side to side. Or doing a walking meditation.

Or, as someone suggested to me recently, while doing alternating 'cat and cow' yoga poses, if sitting completely still gets in the way of focusing our attention on the present moment.

If you have tried meditation before and haven't resonated with the practice, it might be that you haven't been taught the context around meditating. That's one reason the meditation group of those eight students was so meaningful for them. With Dr Zylowska's course we delved into the 'why?' not just the 'what?'

For this purpose, I always recommend that people find a meditation teacher, rather than just using an app. 

If you are interested, two of the world's most experienced meditation teachers are offering a free 40-day meditation course, Mindfulness Daily, in which they do a 5-minute talk first to help you understand and then apply the meditation skills to your experience, then a 5 to 7 minute meditation. 

I'm currently working through this course with one of my adult kids and we connect online every evening (well, 4 evenings a week, to be honest), repeating sessions as needed to consolidate the learning before moving on. 

I know the thought of starting a meditation practice is daunting if not horrific for many people. 

And if now is not the right time (and there will be times when it is too much to take on) that's OK. 

But if the thought of it is merely a bit scary or unpleasant, you might want to consider giving it another try.

The skills you will develop will be powerful allies in helping you choose your responses to your thoughts and feelings or others' actions, rather than reacting automatically and, often, unskilfully. 

 And sometimes, with practice, you will feel like you are coming home to a peaceful place. And that tends to make the practice feel worth it.

Photo sourced from Unsplash